“Wifey Material”: So Outdated, Yet So Persistent
The internet seems obsessed with the idea of “wifey material”—but what does it actually mean? The term categorises women into “good” and “bad” based on how well they fit the mold of the perfect modern homemaker. Cooking, cleaning, and financial management, all with a smile, are just a few of the so-called prerequisites. Sound fun? Straight out of the 1950s.
For laughs (and a bit of reflection), here’s a satirical list of 17 “tips” to reach the pinnacle of “wifey” greatness in 2025:
1. Throw Away Your Career Goals
Why would you need them? Your future partner will handle the finances.
2. Master “Girl Math”
The only math you need to know, right?
3. Cleaning is Your New Hobby
Let’s start with the basics—scrubbing floors is your new passion project.
4. Become a Kitchen Pro
Brush up on hearty recipes so you can dazzle your partner with your culinary skills.
5. Learn Four Languages
You’ll never travel, but hey, at least you’ll sound impressive.
6. Never Get Sick
Even with a fever, the house must sparkle.
7. Keep Gossiping Efficient
Meet friends for quick gossip sessions but always be home in time to cook dinner.
8. Avoid Eye Contact with Attractive Strangers
Better yet, just hide.
9. Speak to No One But Your Partner
Conversations with others? Completely inappropriate.
10. Memorise Shopping Lists
When asked “Can you shop for me?”, know all the answers instantly.
11. Never Sweat
Whether at the gym, in summer, or anywhere else—sweating is for amateurs.
12. Read His Mind
Telepathy is obviously your superpower.
13. Pretend Periods Don’t Exist
Pain? Hormones? Not for you, miracle woman.
14. Love His Mother Unconditionally
No matter how she treats you, unconditional adoration is required.
15. Organise Everything Perfectly
Wedding plans, taxes, dentist appointments—all while whipping up a five-course meal.
16. Always Say Yes
Marry him? Do the laundry? Stop existing? Yes, yes, and yes.
17. Smile. Always.
Even if your coffee is cold, the dog destroyed the sofa, or you’re asked why you’re “so stressed today.”
Breaking the Mold
Let’s be honest: The term “wifey material” is absurdly outdated. Why should women be measured by an unrealistic checklist in 2025? It’s time to ditch the term altogether. Instead, we should celebrate genuine harmony and mutual respect in relationships. At the end of the day, love isn’t a one-way street, and it certainly isn’t defined by a list of superficial criteria. Here’s to a future where everyone can be themselves without being shoved into outdated categories. Thanks and bye!
